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(The) Saffron Guild: A group of fundamentally shitty people who try to hide their basic shittiness through deployment of colorful imagery and flowery language. Guild members, AKA the Saffrogettes (even though the majority of them are men), specialize in attending the signing ceremonies of any deal struck with the devil, hailing it as breakthrough, and castigating its critics.

Scaredy-Cat Anonymous – a support group for the perennially insecure. Note: we work closely with the administrators of (The) Tremblers Union: A global service designed specifically for autocrats. Our members are already cowed and reigned-in. You supply the fear. We supply the sheep.   

(The) School for Advanced Corporealology: The place to go for disillusioned etherealists.

(The) Secret Society of Mush for Brains: We smoked it. We inhaled it. We legalized it. 

(The) Shoeless Centipedes Brotherhood: We shit in private, but we are transparent about our fuckery. (In honor of Senator John McCain)

(The) Siblinghood of the Guillotine: Though we are only seen during times of chaos, it’s in times of repressive stability that we thrive.

Shitheads for Peace: We don’t believe in rainbows.

(The) Sleaze Associates: We think so low of you and so much of ourselves that we don’t even bother hiding or camouflaging the true fucked-up nature of our intentions towards you. 

(The) Society of Assiduous Recalcitrants: Coordinating yesterday’s tasks tomorrow.

(The) Society of Designer Autocrats: We'll oppress you with style, something that the hardened onlooker and perennial obfuscator will really appreciate. 

(The) Society of Free Masochists: The largest unofficial civil society network in the Great Middle East and North Africa Region. The Society of Free Masochists: we know we’re knee-deep in shit, and we like it.

(The) Society of Fucking Lunatics & the Fucked-Up Lunatics Who Listen To Them: Are you fucking listening?

(The) Society of Habitual Own-Foot-Shooters: We believe in the process of healing and in seeking new beginnings. Endings are anticlimactic and dull.

(The) Syrian Pro-Democracy Movement: Give us a decent chance, even if in the form of a fragile ceasefire, and we won’t just bring hope back, we’ll bring the Dodo bird back.
(The) Society of Proud and Morally Indignant Autocrats: We are despots and proud of it. We shoot into the crowds we oppress. We shoot to kill. We are effective.. We are at peace with ourselves and what we do. We don't take anything from our people as some claim. The people, the country and its wealth are ours by virtue of our dominance over them. What we do is give, we give security for the whole, and we reward loyalty. We do not preach human rights and violate them. To us, rights stem from loyalty, and a willingness to pay the price of our collective security. We do not promote democracy one day, and indifference another. We are consistent. All our prisons are Guantanamo, and worse. And all our prisoners are guilty. Period. Consistency is all. Democracy is hypocrisy. 

Society of Self-Righteous Bastards Who Could Care Less About Being Consistently Wrong: So What?

Sykes-Picot Associates: Together, we can always change your world, or make you think we did.

Syria – the country that used to be: Too many coveters, yet few who actually gave a damn.